T.eleV.!sion

Hey kids I wanted to share my work with you so here ya go.  Well I don't know if you could really call it work.  I kind of just write stuff on blogs... like I am doing right this very moment.

Except I get paid to plug links into places like this (a link to a picture of oprah running). You may be wondering why I simply didn't just upload the picture onto this blog here.  Well, yes that would be much more convenient for you, but that is not what I am paid for.Anyways that link is not the one i really want you to check out, this one is right here. Its about television.

I imagine that this post will probably be marked as a spammy post maybe? on account of the links.  Oh well.  So here is the game: Can you find all the links? Alright guys search through the post find the links and then leave your answers in comments. Actually don't do that.  I hate comments.  If anyone wants to say something, COME SAY IT TO MY FACE! Got it?! ha, well, later losers.

- Thom from the Cannibalistic Kindergarten Crew

Bloo Bludded

This Funny Looking Rock is actually a Horseshoe Crab

The interesting thing about horseshoe crabs, besides looking like an alien from that movie Predator, is the fact that they have blue blood, which, to me, is also something very alien.

Lackadaisical Ebooker

If you haven't seen me lately I probably look something like this guy.  Except I don't have the glasses and I don't use a ink jar for writing.  Other than that, this picture is exactly what I look like.  You don't believe me? That is because you are a skeptic and have trust issues. Furthermore, those are not my problems.

Work requires me to write a lot about a lot of stuff.  Basically I sit and write about things for a total of five hours each day, and then when I'm done I get to go to school. HOORAY FOR SCHOOL!!!

Anyways. The whole thing I wanted to say with this blog is that there are going to be some Ebooks coming soon, written by yours truly, this guy->

PS. I am not really lackadaisic-anything I just that it fit with the picture.

13 Minutes Before Work Ends

Min 13- Write title of blog post.

Min 12- Think about what this blog is going to be about.

Min 11- Create links to the blogs I wrote for work here, here and here

Min 9- Address the fact that the second 'here' and the 'third' are basically the same article written for separate sites. Let clock tick for a few seconds till 4:52

Min 8- Watch people start file out the door and turn off their computers. It is kind of a boring thing to watch, i know. 

Min 7- Look at the two remaining people in the office,  Nate and Heather.

Min 6- I made a link on Nate's name so you can stock him.  

Min 5- Heather gets no link.

Min 4- Reread what I have written and check for spelling or grammar errors. Isolate them and ignore them. I feel my work is more genuine if I leave the mistakes in.

Min 3- post, log off, and leave.

Obsessed With TED

This blog is not as homosexual as it may sound, not that I have any problems with homosexuals, you are all welcome to read my blog.Anyways, TED is not a man. Well, I am sure there are tons of men with the name of Ted, but I am not talking about any of them. NOT EVEN ONE.

Hi, my name is Ted

I am sure you are all aware of TED.com.  Yeah, I wasn't until like two days ago.  Why didn't you guys tell me? The internet has made it so easy to share things, but I feel like a lot of people are still shy to express themselves.

Sorry about how gay this is sounding. And, again, no I don't have problems with gay people.  So you fags shouldn't have a problem with me using the word "gay" as a derogatory term. Good, we cool now?

So I like TED, who is very much a website and not at all an actual man, and I'm not scared to say it.  I wanted this post to illustrate two different things.  First that TED is a great website and I'm disappointed that no one told me about it. And Secondly, for once in our lives we have a medium of communication that allows for everyone to speak freely and still no one told me about TED.  OK, I guess that is three or for things if you take into account that both those were compound sentences, but whatever.

I mean just think about it though.  First there was the printing press made communication to large groups possible.  Then there was the phone, which enhanced two way communication.  Then the television, which probably did something.  Now, for the first time in all of the world's history there is a medium that allows not only for individuals to speak to large groups, but for large groups to interact and speak back.  That seems pretty cool. So, yeah, go ahead and take it for granted.

My Head = Cotton Candy

Quick Disclaimer: This blog is no good for anyone.  It will not help you in any way.  It will probably only make you less intelligent than you are know. Only those who absolutely feel the necessity to read this should continue. Actually, no, i don't think even they should continue.  You know what, just don't read this. 

Yes, I know, that must sound so appealing, but it isn’t.  Have you ever had a head that is cotton candy?  It is useless.    The flavor is terrible, and you couldn’t eat it even if you wanted to because you know the whole can’t-eat-your-own-head thing.  That is a thing right? Besides being useless as cotton candy it makes for a useless head too.  

You can imagine how bad a head must be for candy right? --are you thinking of Hannibal Lector?--   Well, now try imagining how bad cotton candy is for a head.  There is no neuro-synapse going on to support thought or perception or anything.  Cotton candy should not ever be mixed with one's head.

Usually my mooshy brain feels somewhat slushy, but right now it is completely frazzled. Haha. I just said frazzled and slushy in the same sentence.

 Anyways, on account of I have nothing better to do for this blog I am going to share with you tards (tards is short for: Totally Awesome Radiant… and something else good) what I have been doing at work today.

Swedes start clubbing during lunch hour rather than eating.

After I read this I wanted to be a swede really bad.  Knowing that the Swedish people do these types of shenanigans during lunch makes me really happy and, come to think of it, hungry too.  Then there is also the whole “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” thing. Oh, that girl is more Swedish than anyone could ever hope for.  I would totally pay 100 Kronor to club with her.  Don’t worry 100 kronor is only 14 dollars in America, so it really isn’t like too ridiculous to want that. 

It just hit me.  If 100 kronor is only 14 dollars then a million kronor is only like 140 thousand dollars.  Suddenly the whole Girl With The Dragon Tatto series lost a lot of value.  I still like the books (well, as far as I have read anyway), but I kind of wish that Blomkvist was getting a million dollars instead of just 140 thousand.

After I read about the top news in Sweden, I went to some man-style website. This was good for a laugh.  If you are not too scared to open up a separate browser window and read a short article then I suggest you do it.