Exercise Feels Like Blisters

Hey friends.  It has been a minute since I last updated my blog.  You may be wondering why.  It is because I was really busy doing things that are important.  No, I will not tell you about them. What do you think this blog is? Some place where I just tell you everything I ever did in my life and you read about it.  Can't a guy have some privacy. I am not just going to through my self on the inter-web to be virtually molested by anonymous viewer spider people. Anyways, This blog is about how I brainwashed myself.

So I have been working right.  I do that occasionally for 4 to 5 hours any where from 9 to 5 on weekdays.  I write fitness and health articles over and over and over.  I don't really do research on mice or perform experiments on monkeys to test the elasticity of muscle tissue or how fast it repairs.  I wish I did that would be cool. I don't have the resources or the credibility to convince some big wig to give me the loan  needed for that type of operation. No, I mainly write 'how to' articles: How to get a rockin six pack, how to get the most out of your exercise, how to stop being a lazy bum who complains that models in fitness magazines look "too skinny".  

Viewership is not super high.  Some of the sites get a few thousand a month, a lot more than this crumbly blog.  The main purpose is to build up a network of links.  The second-dairy (haha you see what I did there) purpose is to write quality articles that people would actually want to read. Oh yeah and I do blogs for pool related stuff too, but that is beside the point. Anyway here is a list of all the stuff I have done this week.  It is Thursday BTW and I have a few more to get through before I go home.

-Brainwash Materials-

1. http://www.pooltablereviewguru.com/venoms-trick-shots/   
2.  http://www.suchgoodexercise.com/how-much-does-running-cost/    
3. http://www.pooltablereviewguru.com/have-you-ever-heard-of-squirt/     
4. http://www.pooltablereviewguru.com/cleaning-the-felt-of-your-pool-table/
5. http://www.examiner.com/article/micheal-phelps-diet-of-champions     
6. http://www.truefitnessfanatic.com/health/the-cost-of-running/  
7. http://www.examiner.com/article/olivia-munn-s-rare-disease-she-pulls-out-her-eyelashes     
8. http://www.examiner.com/article/the-beast-gives-bolt-a-run-for-the-gold
9. http://www.easyhomeexercises.com/health/wake-up-early-and-love-it/     
10. http://www.pooltablereviewguru.com/shoot-pool-like-a-true-marksman/     
11. http://www.easyhomeexercises.com/health/use-the-olympics-to-get-inspired/     
12. http://www.easyhomeexercises.com/health/get-that-rock-hard-core/
13. http://treadmillthom.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/treadmills-i-came-to-love-them/     
14. http://www.healthyhomosapien.com/461/why-isnt-going-to-the-gym-helping-me-lose-weight/     
15. http://treadmillthom.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/how-did-the-world-come-to-this/   
16. http://www.easyhomeexercises.com/health/going-to-the-gym-not-helping-lose-weight/       
17.  http://www.examiner.com/article/kate-beckinsale-s-total-recall-fitness-trick?cid=db_articles       

The main point here is that I write so much I have nearly brainwashed my self that the only important thing in life is fitness. And you know what I am starting to believe it. The only way I can describe it is as if each one of these articles that I write creates a shadow of thought in my mind. That shadow carries on into the next day.  As I write about one specific topic over and over, the shadows start to form and cluster and the shadow becomes a silhouette of what or who I am. 

It is my shadow, and that is my pectoral muscle.

As you can see, these meaningless blocks have begun to give me a rather feminine shape. Don't read into that. I couldn't find a shadow picture of a buff dude that looked like me, so I had to settle for this buff chick that looks like me. That is beside the point.  Actually the only reason I brought up the analogy of shadow thought stuff was so that I could put this picture into the blog and have it remain in context.

However if you look close you will see that the shadow seems to be moving.  (And that is my way of making a terrible segue.)  Perhaps these little blocks that have been slowly shaping my thought had something to do with the fact that I felt compelled to run with Jordan and Eric on Yesterday.

The target distance for the run was 6 miles, just about 10 kilometers.  Well, we missed that by a long shot, and we ended up going 8.2 miles.  This made me realize that exercise is not fun.  No matter what you convince yourself to believe.  It feels like blisters and diarrhea, and it stinks like sweaty crotch.  Sorry for the vulgarity, but I literally had to squeeze out my undies after the run. Like there was so much accumulative sweat caught in the fibers that I could collect it in a measuring cup and drink it... Sorry that was too far. 

Now I feel more like this. 

 I can hardly walk without looking like a constipated penguin and I swear the over exertion caused my calves to become misshapen. I really don't think my body knows what a calf muscle is supposed to look like. They work fine, except for all the pain, but they look like gigantic inflated buffalo tumors. I know it doesn't make sense, but you get the picture.

I think the problem here is that I have blogged about fitness and health so much that I actually feel like I want to be fit and healthy. Interestingly though, I blog about billiards and pool and I have no desire to do that. So how do you explain this.


Ps. If you made it through this whole post... Wow.  Congratulations and Good job. You have the attention span of brain scientist. That is hardcore.